Posted on July 7, 2011

MySpace isn’t your babysitter

A federal judge dismissed a case brought against MySpace. They plan to appeal, but for the moment, justice is done!

A family is suing MySpace.com for allowing their 14 year old girl to meet someone (a 19 year old) and provide her cell phone number to them (oh, they also met for a date before she was assualted). Clearly, MySpace needs to do more to protect our kids (and needs to shill out $30 million to comfort us).

Ok, you could probably tell from the intro that I feel very strongly on this matter. For those of you who have read my previous columns, you know how I feel about parental responsibilites. You also know how I feel about web pages and chat accounts. In case you don’t, here is a reminder. Parents need to know what their kids are doing. This is not to say you know each and every action, but you should at least know the date your 14 year old is going on is with a 19 year old she met on the Internet. That is the bottom line. No parent can claim an external source such as myspace is responsible for poor parental control.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I feel horrible for the girl. The fact that she had to endure this situation is simply unforgivable. The 19 year old who did this should be punished to the fullest extent of the law. (I personally wonder if we will ever know what happens to him, or if it will all blow over). I do make the assumption that he was guilty (for the sake of arguement and also the lack of facts detailing the incident).

But, one fact that does reamin is MySpace had nothing to do with the two going on a date. The girl provided her mobile number to the boy. (My question is why not also sue the mobile carrier?) The basis for the complaint is that MySpace needs to do a better job of protecting the kids, and that it doesn’t properly screen ages.

So, the complaint is kids can lie about their age and get MySpace accounts. Is that worth $30 Million? My thought is no, it’s not. If anything, MySpace should put up a bold flashing sign indicating that what you are reading is more than likely a big set of lies, and it would be stupid of you to actually believe any of it, It would require an almost brainless leap for you to actually provide contact details to anyone you meet here and you should ask your parents for guidance (or possibly therapy) if you think it may be a good idea to go on a date with anyone you meet on the Internet.

Again, I feel sorry for the poor girl. I feel doubly sorry because her parents need to lash out at MySpace. Will getting $30 Million from News Corp (MySpace’s Parent company) actually remedy the “abuse” MySpace casued. And secondly, did they cause it?

The problem is, for MySpace to properly defend itself, it will have to show the parents and teh girl were at fault, not them. This is where words like “This corporate bastards” usually come in to play. In order for MySpace to show the world the problem, they have to tell a very inconvient truth (with apologies to Al Gore). Parents need to take responsibility for their kids. We have become what I refer to as the “Oprah” generation. We are a product of the 60’s and 70’s. The driving philosophy is that we can do it all. The problem with that is simply summed up: “Jack of all trades, Master of none”. And the trade we fail the most in is our kids.

Husbands and Wifes now have careers and lives. The kids are left to be raised by the community, including all of it’s technological marvels. TV and the Internet are used where family time used to be. Is this wrong? Not exactly. Is doing it the way we have been wrong? Totaly.

We set our kids out on the Internet, and don’t supervise them. From an early age, they develop skills far beyond what we are capabale of. And we hid beihnd that excuse when a terrible incident occurs. I am not suggesting everyone needs to learn as much as their kids, but you do need to know what is going on.

And as far as chat, blogging and even mobile phones are concerned, parents really should learn how to protect their kids. The first step is knowledge. Again, I would not suggest ruling with an iron fist, but being aware of what your kids are doing is a major step in keeping them safe.

Let’s disect the incident, from a clinical point of view, and see what could have been done differently.

1) The 14 year old girl in question has a mobile phone – Teach your kids how to use a phone, and how to properly protect themselves. Since I am betting she is not paying for the phone herself, you would have access to all her calls. Use this power, but use it wisely. If the girl had understood more about proper communication skills, she would have been better prepared for online predators.

2) The girl met someone on the Internet and arranged to meet them – Did your parents ever ask you “Where are you going?” and “Do you go to school with him?”. I am sorry for sounding so rude, but she’s only 14. Letting her go out on a date with someone may be ok, but not knowing the who, what, where, when, why and how is unforgivable.

3) She has a MySpace page – Did the parents know about this? Did they read it to see what she had posted? It is not MySpace.com’s responsibility to verify everyting your kid writes, nor can they. As a parent, you should know what’s on that page, and talk to your kids about it.

4) The lawsuit is getting international coverage – This seems like a clever plot by the lawfirm to get some money from somewhere. (MySpace announces new plan, signs a sealed settlement and avoids getting copcat suites all over the world). If you’re parents would use a private incident for financial gain, you may not have even stood a chance.

I know the fourth point is harsh, but I cannot forgive someone who would put financial gain above their own childs well being. Do they really think the money will make up for having her story told internationally? (And do they think that someone won’t find out who she is?) Or are they counting on the numerous talk show visits they make to talk about the evils of MySpace? (All at a nomial fee). Whatever the case, I find it unforgivable.

If you take one thing from this arcticle, please let it be that we need to help our kids. The best thing we could do for them is be their parents. It is not going to be easy, but I am sure, in the long run, that our kids will be better people in the end.

A federal judge dismissed a case brought against MySpace. They plan to appeal, but for the moment, justice is done!

- L. Mercury